Kisses and Dandelions: My Baby is 5

Friday, February 1, 2013

My Baby is 5

I'm sitting here wondering how it is possible that my teeny, tiny baby girl has just turned 5 years old.

Five years ago yesterday, Jocelyn, all 3 lbs, 5 oz, and 16 inches of her, came into my world with barely a peep.

It was a rough few months at first. We had 33 days in the NICU, then she came home with an apnea monitor for 8 months, physical therapy and nursing care, and pumping for 14 months. WOW, how did we survive all that and more???

And then of course, there was figuring out how to do this "Mommy" thing.

But through the years, this is what I have figured out:

Children will challenge us - in good ways and bad ways - but the biggest rewards come from the most difficult moments, when we learn that we can handle them, and both of us are better for the experience.

There will be times where it's impossible to be more proud. With Jocelyn many of those moments took lots of time and patience, encouragement and cheering on. But when she learned to sit up and walk, and ride her tricycle, and climb the monkey bars, no one was prouder than me.

Many of those proud moments will also make you cry.

The first time I had to leave Jocelyn in someone else's care, was so difficult --- for me. She, of course, was fine. I have to remind myself that my job is to prepare her to be able to go out on her own, and I have and still do that. But that doesn't make it any easier. The true test is going to be Kindergarten in the fall.

I knew as a teenager that I wanted kids. I did not want to go through my life without the chance to experience motherhood. I also decided early in my teen years that if I had a baby girl that I would name her Jocelyn! There is no doubt in my mind that despite how long it took for me to finally get to this part of my life, every minute was worth the wait.

Last night, after a very busy day and a late night, I sat with Jocelyn rocking in the recliner in her room. When she fell asleep I couldn't put her down. I couldn't let the moment end. It's hard to believe 5 years of those moments have already gone by.