Monday, August 30, 2010

The Passage Of Time

I recently spent an afternoon chatting with a mother of one of Allie and Shelby's friends.  We had just recently met and were getting to know one another, talking about the kids, our husbands, where we live and what we do with our free time, all those things you chat about when you are getting to know someone new.  Inevitably, I found myself talking about my experience with Jocelyn's birth.  Is there a time where mothers don't find that event to be a huge part of their memory banks?  Maybe it's less so when you have more than one child, or when your child is older.  Since Jocelyn will be my only, and her birth was so...  hmmm... what words can I use?  traumatic, eventful, terrifying, joyous, incredible, life altering?   Does that make it more memorable I wonder?
Anyway, despite the heavy drugs I was given, I still have vivid memories of the whole week I was in the hospital, as well as much of Jocelyn's time in the NICU.
I remember them saying to me right before the emergency C-section, "Don't worry, 32 weekers do just fine".  Then we had the weeks in the NICU, the 9 months with the heart / apnea monitor, the year and a half with the Infants and Toddlers program, the physical therapy, and the many times I spent watching other kids doing what she was not yet ready to do. 
Now don't get me wrong!  I wouldn't trade a second of any of it, not one second!  Having my baby girl slow down the development track only meant that I got to enjoy each stage longer, and each accomplishment was just that much sweeter.
And then we get to today.  Jocelyn is 2 and 1/2 years old.  She's not quite caught up with the physical developments of kids her age.  Sometimes balance and coordination are a challenge. 
BUT...  this girl can TALK about everything and nothing, AND all the time!  She's almost mastered dressing herself with a shirt and shorts.   We're staring down the dreaded potty training.  We have a day to day life together that involves people and activities that I never imagined for her. 

And when she hugs me, my heart melts. 

When I look at pictures of Jocelyn when she was days old, and when I think about how scared we were bringing this little 5lb 2oz peanut home from the hospital, I couldn't imagine then the little girl I see today.  And today, I can't imagine 3 years from now when I send her off for her first day of Kindergarten.  I will continue to treasure every second of every day.  I will continue to cheer her on with every accomplishment, no matter how small, and ...

When she hugs me, my heart will always melt.


3 comments:

  1. She's had such an amazing life already!! Glad she's keeping you company with all her jabbering! ;-)

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  2. I think the farther away you get from any event, the less "eventful" it feels. But you never really lose some of those moments. I will always remember Jillian's traumatic birth, though I've gone through several different iterations of how it made/makes me feel as I've grown and am about to have another. And some older moms I talk to at church can still very vividly describe the birth of their children, some normal births, and some more complicated. Some things you never forget. But I think as our little ones grow, the things you have as "get to know you" talks with other parents change. As they enter school age and develop their own interests, I think those things will become more the topic of discussion.

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  3. Ditto Mel, but you might be right about having more than one because after Henry was born all the anger, violation and betrayal I felt after Jack's birth was just gone... poof!

    I can't wait for kindergarten!

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