The Last Day of My First School

Last Wednesday was Jocelyn's last day at My First School.   It's been a little hectic around here, so there hasn't been much time to share my feelings on this, but now with a few minutes free, here they are:


Proud - I am so proud of my sweet Jocelyn.  The teachers told me every day how well Jocelyn did in class, and of course I saw some of that with my own eyes through the window as I was stalking!

Sad for her - that her fun class is over.  I know she had so much fun and she was so excited to see me every day and show me her artwork and tell me what she did in class. 

Embarrassed - Yes, really, I'm embarrassed to admit I stayed out in the hall on more than half the days.  Really, at first it started out as wanting to be there in case she needed me, then it went to just enjoying watching her through the window, and then, honestly, it was just nice to have 2 peaceful hours to read a book.  If I came home I would have done laundry, or cleaning, or wasted time on the computer, but by sitting in an empty hallway, I slammed through 50 pages in 2 hours, and loved it!


Nostalgic - It has dawned on me that we have reached a milestone, and I'm struggling with it.  Every class Jocelyn has been in up until now has been a Mommy and Me class.  I have done gymnastics with her, toddler music and games, My Gym classes, the works.  But now she is at the age where most classes will be independent.  There's no need for me anymore.   (I tear up just thinking about it)  Though I learned to appreciate those few free hours to myself, nothing could be better than experiencing things right along with her.  Something significant has changed in our lives and I won't ever get it back.  I can't help but be sad about that.

Now there's no way I will not be involved.  No Way!  As we move forward, I will always be THAT Mom - the volunteer, the room parent, the chaperone, the PTA mom, count on it, that will be me. 
But the thing I will treasure most is when I arrive to take my Jocelyn home from whatever activity she is in, - the moment she first sees me, I will watch the way her eyes light up, and I will hear her voice in the group of kids as she calls out to me, and I will grab her up into my arms for a big, big hug.  And I will know in that moment that no matter where she goes, she will always be in my heart.