With a Heavy Heart

As I sit here at the computer I only have to glance to the right to see the two most important people in my life snuggling together on the sofa.  And just behind me is our decorated Christmas Tree.  Christmas is just a little more than a week away, and though I can't help but be excited for Jocelyn and how fun this year will be for her, I also have a very heavy heart tonight thinking about the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut.

Two days ago, a monster - what else would you call him - forced his way into Sandy Hook Elementary School and killed 20 babies, ages 6-7, and 6 of their dedicated teachers.  School shootings are horrific on their own, but this one just makes my heart ache.  Twenty families will not get to celebrate Christmas or Hannakah with their little ones this year like I will.  Twenty families can't hug their little ones like I can.  Twenty families will never see or talk to their little ones again.   Twenty families can no longer tell their little ones how much they are loved.  And countless other children have had their innocence taken away by the acts of one horrible person.

Because of this, I will hug my daughter a little tighter, and love her a little harder, if that's possible, and tomorrow when I drop her off at school, I will think of those parents that did the same on Friday morning, to never see their precious babies again.

Touch a Truck

A friend of ours told us about this really fun local event.  It's called "Touch a Truck".  I had no idea what we were in store for, but what a great time we had!

There were trucks of all kinds --  fire trucks and ladder trucks, a cement truck and dump truck, garbage trucks, a car carrier, a tow truck,  and cranes.

There were lots of other things too  --  a limousine, a police car, a mail truck, military vehicles, a plow truck from the airport, and even a helicopter!

Crane

Tow Truck

The kids were allowed to climb into all of the vehicles and even pull the air horns in the big trucks.  It was one noisy place, but Jocelyn had so much fun.  The only thing we missed was it would have been nice to see more of those construction vehicles we always see working on the roadways.  But there were plenty of things we never would have thought of!

Limousine

Ladder Truck

Blowing the horn in the cement truck!

In the Helicopter

And just for kicks, guess who else was there?  The Ravens Bird!

What a great day!  I can't wait to take Jocelyn here again next year!

Beach, Bikes and Ballet

We've had a busy month and I have fallen behind, so here's a little of what's going on to catch us up!

The first weekend in October...   Yes!  October!  Jocelyn and I went with Auntie out to see Grammy at the beach.  The weather was perfect for the first two days, so we got in plenty of time on the beach, AND in the water.

Bike riding is quickly becoming a favorite activity because she does so much of it at school.  And she's getting pretty good at it!













And then, there is Ballet.  Jocelyn continues to love Ballet.  We are at a break between sessions, but she can't wait for it to start up again.

Here is Jocelyn curtsying to Ms. Lynette.  How cute!!

Stay tuned!  There's more good times coming!

Thoughts on Life and Death and Everything In Between

Despite the two previous cheery posts, there is some sadness going on in our lives.  My Step mom, Susan, has been here locally for a number of weeks, taking care of her Mom.  Her Mom, would be my Grandmother, and, as she likes to be called, she is Jocelyn's Great Mom.

Great Mom is 97 years old, and she will tell you that she has lived a full, wonderful life.  Up until recently, she  had lived by herself, taking care of herself and her home.  She was even still driving!  But a few weeks ago, Great Mom had a heart attack, and unfortunately, it has brought on a series of things that will at some point lead us to the day when she will leave us.

Jocelyn is a smart girl.  She knows something's up.

She has asked in the past about death and dying.  Pat's Dad died many years ago, before I came into his life, but Jocelyn has been curious about where he is and what Pat's life is like without his Dad.  How do you explain this to a little child?

Saturday morning, Jocelyn and I had a very difficult but touching conversation about life and death.  She started to ask me where my Mom's (Grammy) parents were, and I had to explain that they died many years ago.  She asked me where Susan's (Memere) Dad is.  I had to explain that he died many years ago.  She asked me about Memere's Mom and I explained that, that is Great Mom.  And Jocelyn started to do the math...

She asked me where my Dad's (Pepere) parents are.  I again had to explain that they also died, many years ago. WOW!  Deep conversation with a 4 year old!

Then Jocelyn, being the big hearted girl she is, ripped my heart right out of my chest and asked me "If Pepere's parents are gone, who takes care of Pepere?"  I gulped some air and explained that She and I, and Auntie and Memere all take care of Pepere.  And as if that wasn't enough, she then went on to ask "How can we take care of Pepere when he is so far away?"   At that point, I couldn't help it, she was crying, I was crying, and I just answered as best I could...  "we do whatever we can".

And after that conversation, we went to visit with Memere and Great Mom, and hugged them both tight.  We're both going to miss Great Mom one day.

Photo Fun!

A week ago, I took a digital photography class.  I have wanted to take one for years and I finally got the chance.  There was SO MUCH information to take in and I'm so afraid I won't be able to retain everything I learned.  It was a really interesting class.

While we were in class, we took a walk outside and did some practice shots.

But taking photos of flowers is quite a bit different than taking photos of a moving target!  Here's some practice shots I took of --  who else??!!

And just for good measure, here's the "J" for Jocelyn!

Back to "Work"

Not even close!

Thursday was my first Co-op Mom "work-day", and it was anything but work!  I loved every minute of it and I can't wait to go back!  Jocelyn was pretty happy to have me there as well.

Thursday's are Discovery Days.  They split the 4's class into two groups, 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 in the afternoon.  There is still 3 adults, so the ratio is very small and the kids get to work on special projects.  You saw the life size kid drawing, and after that they painted their own piggy banks and talked about money.  This past week, when I was there, the kids made their own frog puppets and put on puppet shows.  So much fun!

When us Mommies come in to be Co-op Parent, the kids get some special perks.  They get to be first in line.

And they get to check the weather for the day.

Here's the puppet show!

And of course there's time for fun!

At the end of the afternoon, they played a game trying to guess which friend was speaking, just by the sound of their voices.  I'm pretty sure I couldn't do that!!

Overall, it was a great experience for me to see what preschool is like for Jocelyn.  It is amazing how much information Ms. Judy can work into just 2 and 1/2 hours every afternoon.  Jocelyn is learning so much!  I wish I could be there every day!  I can't wait for my turn to come around again, but in the meantime, there will also be a field trip to a farm and later in the month, there will be a Halloween Party.  Can't wait for those too!

Two weeks...

Two weeks have gone by since that first day of Preschool and it's been an interesting ride.  Jocelyn seems to be having fun in class.  She likes riding bikes outside and she's making some new friends.  She loves the sand table, the painting easel, and the fun crafts.  Every day they do something fun and educational. 

So far she has created her name in pasta, and done a life-size picture of herself.  She made a piggy bank this week and they talked about money.  And she is already working on writing letters, especially her name.  I went in one day this week and found a writing sheet she had done that included her independently writing "J o c" on her paper.  It about brought me to tears again!!!  She hasn't really been willing to work on writing with me, so it was so exciting to see such progress in just two weeks! 

I brought out my preschool workbook this weekend to see what she would do and for the first time she actually showed some interest in it.  After a little cutting, coloring and pasting...

We ended up with this...  And just for kicks, I asked her if she would write her name on the sheet!

So what if it's "J o c", and so what if we ran out of room for that "c".  I'm just thrilled that Jocelyn is learning to write her name. 

The one problem we seem to be having is the adjustment period, at least I hope that's what we're going through right now, because we are in trouble if it's anything but short term!  Outside of school, Jocelyn has been really moody, quick to frustration, anger and tears, BIG TEARS!!!  I keep thinking she's tired, but she's not really having any trouble sleeping.   Preschool has brought big changes to her life.  They are good changes, but changes none the less.   I am hoping she can settle in soon!

It's going to be a mighty busy year!

The 1st Day has Come

She didn't see me cry. 

It took every bit of power I had in me, but she didn't see me cry...

My Beautiful Girl started her first day of Preschool today.  I am so proud of her.  She was ready and excited and ran right out to play as soon as we got there.  I had to hunt her down on the playground to say "Goodbye"!

And then I went back to my car and cried like a baby.

We took some pictures before we left.

Big hug from Dad

Getting her hair done

Looking Cool with my Shades and Care Bear Backpack!

With Mommy

 

With Daddy

 

Today is the First Day of Preschool.  It's not anything new for Jocelyn to go to a class without me, she's done it many times before, so she's just fine!

I'm the one with the problem.  I look at my baby going into school and I know that this is the first of many "Goodbyes" to come.  She's getting older and no matter how much I wish I could keep her to myself forever, I know I can't.  I know today wasn't just a "Goodbye" for this afternoon, it was a "Goodbye" to the days where I am the only one she will look to for help and support.  It is "Goodbye" to the days when I am the only one that can give her what she needs. 

I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm still the first and I'm still #1 to her.

She sure is #1 to me. 

I love you Sweet Jocelyn!

 

 

And so it begins...

Today was Meet the Teacher Day at Jocelyn's preschool.  It was a very short event, only a 1/2 hour, but it was a good taste for Jocelyn, of what's to come next week.  She didn't have nearly enough time to explore, and she's excited to go back, which is good.  But she keeps asking if I'm going to stay with her next week.   Oh my fragile heart strings are being tugged mercilessly!!! 

Here's just a few pics from this morning.

Ready to go!

Dinosaurs!

And Dolls!



Circle Time

My Name is Jocelyn





With Ms. Judy, Jocelyn's new Teacher!

 

 

And so it begins...  those moments that will lead to hours and days and months and years, that my precious girl will grow up and out of my arms.   Please don't grow too fast Sweet Girl.

 

 

(First Day of School coming soon!)



Who could forget Oscar?? Me!

How could I forget the only family picture of us at Sesame Place???

Here's the photo we took with Oscar the Grouch this year.

And just for kicks, here's the one we took in 2010.